By Mona Magno-Veluz
The Autism Society Philippines was created to support Filipinos on the autism spectrum and the families who care for them. As a collective, we have had to learn over time, as raising children on the autism spectrum does not come with a manual. We read the books, scroll through parenting advice online, and carry the weight of responsibility -- especially as mommy and daddy.
But when all eyes are on the parents, we risk missing the bigger picture. In the Philippines, a country deeply rooted in strong family ties and community spirit, the truth is that parents are rarely raising children alone. If you are caring for a child with disabilities or raising a non-traditional family, more so.
A recent study by the Philippine Institute for Development Studies sheds light on the vital, but often overlooked, roles played by others in a child’s early development. What the findings confirm is something many Filipino families already know by heart: it truly "takes a village" to raise a child. Our intergenerational and communal culture shapes the way we nurture, protect, and educate our young.
The Panganay and the Older Siblings. In many Filipino households, the "panganay" (eldest child) often takes on the role of a second parent. This can mean helping with chores, tutoring younger siblings, and offering emotional support. While this dynamic fosters trust and teamwork, it can also place a heavy emotional and psychological burden on young shoulders—a phenomenon known globally as parentification. In the Filipino context, values like "utang na loob" (debt of gratitude) and "pakikisama" (maintaining harmony) can normalize these responsibilities, sometimes to the detriment of the older child’s growth. While caregiving can build resilience, it can also impede their emotional development. The study recommends mental health support and community-based interventions that safeguard older siblings while acknowledging their unique contributions.
Lolos and Lolas. Grandparents are often the heart of Filipino families. Beyond providing love and security, they act as cultural anchors, passing down stories, values, and life lessons. Research shows that strong bonds between children and their grandparents support healthy emotional development and social skills. Grandparents also play a significant role in influencing key decisions related to nutrition and healthcare. However, their caregiving approaches, shaped by past experiences, can sometimes clash with modern parenting practices. Instead of choosing one over the other, the goal should be harmony: fostering respectful dialogue between generations and building on the strengths of both traditional and contemporary approaches.
Yayas and Kasambahays. For many working parents, household helpers are indispensable. "Yayas" and "kasambahays" often handle the day-to-day responsibilities of childcare -- feeding, bathing, playing, and even guiding early learning. Despite their hands-on role, they are frequently excluded from policies and training programs related to early childhood care. Many yayas form deep emotional bonds with the children they care for, often becoming second mothers while being separated from their own families. Providing access to training and professional development not only empowers them but also enhances the quality of care children receive.
Teachers and Day Care Workers. As more families rely on dual incomes, day care centers have become increasingly essential. They offer safe spaces for early learning, social interaction, and health monitoring. Parents value these services, especially for preparing children for school and developing social skills. However, challenges such as limited access, transportation, and cost remain. Daycare workers also serve as frontline advocates in community health -- monitoring nutrition, identifying developmental delays, and helping families access support. The study emphasizes the need to strengthen these institutions through better training and support, and suggests creative alternatives such as supervised community playgrounds in underserved areas.
The study urges policymakers to expand their lens beyond the nuclear family. Our caregiving systems are rich, diverse, and deeply rooted in local culture. Programs and policies should reflect this reality, recognizing and supporting everyone involved in raising a child. This could include introducing caregiving education in schools to prepare older children for supportive roles at home, empowering senior citizens through training to strengthen their contributions as caregivers, professionalizing the role of yayas and kasambahays through skills development and recognition, and enhancing day care and community health services to ensure consistent support for early childhood development.
The study highlights that women still do the majority of caregiving. Encouraging greater male involvement and acknowledging diverse family structures are important steps toward equity and inclusivity.
From older siblings and grandparents to yayas and teachers, a diverse network of caregivers forms the real foundation of child-rearing in the Philippines. Recognizing and supporting these benefits not only the child. It uplifts the entire community.
[You may download "From Lolas and Siblings to Yayas and Community Members: The ‘Significant Others’ in Early Childhood Care and Development" from the Philippine Institute for Development Studies website: https://pids.gov.ph/publication/policy-notes/from-lolas-and-siblings-to-yayas-and-community-members-the-significant-others-in-early-childhood-care-and-development]
Mona Magno-Veluz serves as the National Spokesperson of the Autism Society Philippines. She is a mom to three kids, with her eldest, Carl, on the autism spectrum. She creates content and talks publicly about history and disability inclusion. Find her on Instagram @mightymagulang.
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